Stop Your Fear Of Abandonment"
Learn A Simple Mind Strategy To Stop
Abandonment Fear In Its Tracks...
By Michael Weisz
The fear of abandonment is probably the most
frequent symptom in borderline personality.
BPD is rooted in many emotional traumas and
invalidations early in life. These traumas
and invalidations make a person feel
unwanted, unloved, rejected, just like a
child who was abandoned by his or her
Nature has created us with a powerful drive
to rely and depend on our parents for care,
love, and protection during our first years
of life. So when these needs are not
fulfilled, we feel invalidated, abandoned,
alone, left behind.
And this can be so very painful.
you feel this way, I can totally relate. A
few years ago I've been in your shoes.
BPD there are two forms of abandonment fear.
The first one is the fear of emotional
abandonment that can take the form of
physical abandonment but not necessarily.
BPD people with this kind of abandonment
fear are literally terrified about the
possibility of being left behind by those
who they love or have a relationship with.
For instance they can't let their partners
or spouses leave the house, not even for a
People with BPD who have this form of
abandonment fear see their loved ones
walking out the front door as walking away
forever. In their early years of life they
have suffered deeply because of a parent who
have left behind his or her family without
notice, or have been abandoned emotionally
by cold, harsh, or abusive parents.
The second type of abandonment is the fear
of critique, scolding, and punishments. A
BPD person with these fears used to be
abandoned consistently on his or her needs
for trust, support, and/or understanding.
These BPD people dread to make any mistakes
by trying to do everything perfectly. They
try to behave perfectly, to walk perfectly,
to talk perfectly, be the best ones in
school, and to do things exactly as others
Also, since they were rarely praised for
their successes and achievements but harshly
punished or criticized for their mistakes,
they never knew how perfect is perfect, and
how good or "bad" they are. So they try to
make sure they are perfect by aiming for
This leads to lots of insecurities,
frustration, and to look instinctively after
someone who can tell them what and how to
The way you want to go with the first type
of abandonment fear is to think about all
the past moments when you were thinking that
the other person is going to leave you but
nothing such have ever happened.
Based on this, do you think he or she is
really thinking about leaving you today or
in the near future?
Well, if you continue to be overly clingy,
jealous, and demanding, your chances to be
abandoned one day will probably go up. But
otherwise how high is the possibility to be
Probably slim, isn't it?
he or she would have really wanted to leave
you today you'd be alone, wouldn't you?
the other hand, if you are alone and every
time you meet a new person you like you get
too clingy or too demanding too early on,
ALWAYS remember that just because you've
been abandoned by your parents or other
significant people it doesn't mean that all
people are going to leave you.
fact, if the other one looks interested in
you and asks you all the time about when
he/she can see you again, assume that that
person really likes you and wants to GET
CLOSER to you, NOT leave you.
For the second type of abandonment, the way
you want to go follows the same principle:
just because you got mostly punishments and
critique from your parents or close ones, it
doesn't mean that you did something wrong or
you made a mistake.
Not getting praises or pats on your back all
the time it doesn't mean that you are not
good or that you did something wrong.
know changing your attitudes about yourself
and people in general might be difficult at
first. But trust me on this one. It's all
about how you perceive things.
Past painful experiences in the past have
probably made you see yourself in "bad" ways
you are doing things in similar ways most
people do, you can rest assured that you are
most probably a normal person and you are
doing just fine.
It's hard to believe that you are all "bad".
In fact, all people have good sides and bad
sides. So if we'd place them on a Good-Bad
continuum, 95% of them would be somewhere in
statistically you should be around the
middle of the Good-Bad continuum.
you probably guessed, what you just learned
here is only the beginning.
You deserve to leave behind the fear of
abandonment and BPD, and have a normal and
Overcoming borderline personality has gotten
a lot easier. I've done all the research and
testing in your place and the things that
worked best I've included in my "Borderline
Personality Begone!" Program.
You can be reading it in minutes and start
seeing results TODAY.
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