The One Main Cause Of Borderline
The One Main Causing And Perpetuating Factor
Of Borderline Personality
By Michael Weisz
In the previous article
I mentioned the risk factors involved in the
development of borderline personality. The
inherited factors are increased emotional
reactivity, above average IQ, and being
Scientific facts and experience are showing
that not all people who present the
inherited risk factors develop BPD by the
time they become adults, while at
the same time not all people who don't have
the risk factors are immune against
borderline personality. Not all women have
BPD, and one quarter of the diagnosed BPD
cases are men.
what is going on here?
The truth of the matter is that there is one
factor that can be identified in ALL cases
of people with borderline personality. This
one external factor in conjunction with the
predisposing factors make up the building
"ingredients" for the developing process of
This one common external factor is
represented by what I call
"The Consistent Early Life INVALIDATIONS".
Let me explain.
See, we all people have a number of
physical, emotional, and mental needs. They
are described wonderfully by Abraham Maslow
in his "Hierarchy Of Human Needs".
Basically this hierarchy says that the lower
ranked needs are more vital and bear urgency
for fulfillment compared to those ranked at
These are the five big categories of human
needs from down up: Physiological needs,
Security, Love and Belonging, Esteem, and
For example we are unable to concentrate on higher
ranked needs like learning or self-esteem,
while other basic needs like food, water,
and shelter aren't met. Also we can't
concentrate on security while the same basic
physiological needs aren't met.
ALL borderline sufferers I have talked with
have confirmed me over and over again that
in their young years their needs for
security, love and belonging, or esteem have
been invalidated consistently. They have
also confirmed the scientific results
regarding parents or close adult family
members being the ones to cause the
These invalidations are represented by certain
experiences and situations that have
invalidated one's needs in the three
categories mentioned above: security, love
and belonging, and esteem.
For instance invalidations against security
are represented by sexual abuses, physical
maltreatments, one parent leaving the family
without any previous notice, and sudden and
unexpected mood shifts of the parents.
Invalidations against the needs for love and
belonging are represented by the parents'
emotional coldness, rejection, and failing
consistently in providing emotional support.
The invalidations against the need for
esteem are represented by the consistent lack encouragement,
depreciation in different forms, excessive
critique, scolding, and/or punishments,
overprotection, devaluation/minimization of
achievements and maximization of failures,
Usually adults invalidate their children or
other people because they have as well
certain mental and/or emotional problems
that were caused consequently by their
painful / traumatizing experiences with
these families can be observed that certain
types of mental and/or emotional problems
are "passed on" by one generation to the
next through certain types of invalidations
and emotional traumas or shortcomings.
For BPD sufferers, these invalidations result in a number of
mental and emotional attitudes, like the fear of
abandonment, low self-esteem, lack of
self-confidence, feelings of worthlessness,
of being unlovable, insecure, "bad", "evil",
weak, and a number of other ones.
Over time, through consistent exposure and
use, these attitudes become automatic, part of one's belief system,
make one feel, behave, and think
accordingly. This is the reason why someone
who thinks that he or she is worthless
CANNOT feel worthy and behave in ways people
with high self-esteem do.
These beliefs cause intense anxiety,
depression, frustration, worry, and an
almost ongoing physical and emotional pain.
you experience these nasty emotions and
internal states it is because you are
already a good, worthy, lovable, important,
respectful, worthy person.
But if you already have these positive
attributes, how come you continue to feel miserable?
The reason is because the consistent early life
invalidations have taught you to depreciate
yourself, to be harsh on yourself.
When we see ourselves in positive lights we
feel good because our perceptions are
aligned with our inherited value.
But when we perceive ourselves in negative
lights, our mind and body responds with
negative emotions and internal states
because our perceptions are going against
our inherited value.
Throughout the first part of
my "Borderline Personality Begone!"
program I am going extensively into
explaining how and why these self-defeating
beliefs and attitudes are causing your
Then my Program continues with the step-by-step
techniques and strategies that designed to deactivate
and replace your self-defeating beliefs and
attitudes with new self-validating ones in
all three categories of needs.
is the result of years of study of several
psychology approaches (CBT, Psychoanalysis,
Hypnosis, Positive Psychology, Social
Psychology, Developmental Psychology, Child
Psychology), as well as self-improvement,
success philosophy, and positive thinking,
AND my FIRST HAND experience from dealing
with my own BPD!
Repeat: it took me YEARS!
my program I have included only the best of
the best of what works with borderline
personality so that getting it you'll have a
therapy system for BPD that WORKS!
here for all the details: